Wednesday 18 April 2012

The English FA, UEFA & FIFA – The Moronic Trinity

Those of you who listen to Pitch Talk shows from 8pm (UK) LIVE every Monday night you’ll be used to hearing my voice in terms of Rants & tirades about the state of football but for this week I’ve got my ammunition. Straight Shootin’ doesn’t generally relate to guns in anyway but for this blog entry I’ll have to make an exception and point my guns firmly at the powers that be in domestic, European & world football.

Let’s take FIFA first and the fact they are run by a corrupt moron called Sepp Blatter, the man who in 2011 had a coronation, not an election (because an election has more than 1 person running for office by definition) to remain in power at FIFA as the president, the man who thinks Racism isn’t a problem in football, a man who if he had a brain he’d be out playing with it, as he’s borderline retarded. Apologies for going slightly off point but as I type my blood is boiling on this cold Tuesday evening, but it’s not Blatter I have my problem with today.

So, let’s move on to UEFA and Michel Platini, the man who can see football is crying out for video technology but this idiot doesn’t want to bring it in because he doesn’t want the game to become ‘Playstation football’. This is the same idiot who wants to bring down England’s champions league places down to 3, apparently so that ‘smaller teams’ can get some European revenue, but he hasn’t heard my idea of just bringing back the damn European Cup Winners cup, but anyway, my venom isn’t aimed at the man trying to battle Blatter for the biggest moron in football aka Michel Platini.

My venom is aimed squarely at our very own English FA and my reasons are plentiful and I will call their decisions, ‘mong moves’ for the sake of this blog. My first reason, the rule that dictates that taking your shirt off is a booking, what an utterly stupid rule, you’ve got dangerous tackles and shirt pulling that are bookings most of the time but I take my shirt off in celebration and I get booked...mong move no.1 by our FA.
Mong move no.2, undermining your own manager (Fabio Capello) to the point where he walks out on you when you’re trying to prepare for a major tournament, well done FA, another mong move successfully executed. If you’ve got someone managing your national football team it would be wise to let the man actually manage the team instead of making decisions and not even consulting him first before you go to the media and tell them the news.
Mong move no.3, going to bat for Wayne Rooney. The way the FA went to bat for Rooney was embarrassing on many levels, the shameless brownnosing of UEFA to get his ban reduced from 3 to 2 matches was an abomination, when Rooney clearly deliberately kicked a Montenegro player, but another successful mong move made.

Mong move no.4 is more recent, Shaun Derry of QPR having his red card that shouldn’t have even been a red card upheld along with a 1 match ban. Let’s set the scene, well, actually, the scene was set on the Pitch Talk LIVE show from April 9th 2012 (jump to http://ow.ly/a37JZ (itunes) for the podcast, You can also hear the podcast on podomatic – http://ow.ly/a37MG & mixcloud – http://ow.ly/a37MH ), but basically, Derry got a straight red card for pulling Ashley Young who dove to the ground like he’d been shot, even though Young was clearly offside when it happened, the Linesman was looking right at the incident at Old Trafford (of all places) but didn’t flag. Anyway, the reason this qualifies as a mong move, the FA have seen the footage, QPR appealed the red card and somehow in their infinite idiocy the FA uphold Derry’s red card so he serves a 1 match ban because of a red card that should never have been. 
But anyway as my blood boils I have a final mong move, or a moron move, as it relates to the man I like to call ‘Moron’ Mario Balotelli. The reason I cite this is because Balotelli almost looked like he was trying to get himself sent off in the Arsenal v Manchester City match on Sunday April 8th 2012 with a catalogue of stupid and atrocious tackles, the least dangerous of which he got sent off for, and the worst of which went completely unpunished, referee Martin Atkinson deserves a moron of the week award along with Balotelli for not punishing the tackle. The FA take this as a mong move because it was a leg breaker tackle in which Alex Song was extremely lucky not to have his leg snapped in the 1st half v Manchester City, that the FA looked at & reviewed the footage, but because of this stupid ‘retrospective punishment’ thing where if the referee or an official sees an incident but does nothing about it the FA won’t take any further action, apparently because if they do take action it will undermine the referee’s authority. Pardon me for trying to understand these morons, but how can the ref/linesman/official see a leg breaker challenge and do nothing about it? That’s bad enough but the FA not taking any action is even more of a disgrace.

The FA need a wakeup call and the powers that be in football need to be ousted and soon, because their moronic mentalities, disgraceful decisions and good old boy network ways of working are ruining a game that we love. I would like to put myself Straight Shootin’ LJA (Twitter - @sslja ) and my Pitch Talk co-hosts – Da Gman (Twitter - @dagman84 ) & Gezzie Fizzle (Twitter - @apparentlyrich ) forward to run world football because I think the moron that was Jade Goody & the moron that is Katie Price (who if they had a brain between them they’d be out playing with it) could do a better job of running football than the borderline retarded Blatter, the idiotic Michel Platini and our own joke of an FA. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups, because these are the kind of people who seem to be the powers that be in football.

I’m Straight Shootin’ LJA & that’s my opinion.


Follow me on Twitter @sslja
I am One 3rd of Monday night Football Talk Show Pitch Talk who you can follow on twitter @pitchtalk
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Wednesday 11 April 2012

Moron Mario, has his Blue bubble burst?


Mario Balotelli has confused, amused, bemused but not abused me, but all of the previous things he's done for me in equal measure. As said I've been confused by him, especially recently in Man City's game against Arsenal because similar to Matthew Brown of Leeds United 2 days before against Reading, 'moron' Mario (as I like to call him on Pitch Talk shows) seemed to be trying to get himself sent off with 2 stupid challenges on Bacary Sagna and an absolutely disgraceful challenge on Alexandre Song which somehow the officials missed (how they did I don't know but I may have to blog about officials and peculiar decisions). Now, back to senor Balotelli, another thing that left me confused was in the game before against Sunderland where at one point he was arguing with Kolarov about taking a free kick, Kolarov had taken every other free kick so Mario, you should have left him to it. Now, some say Balotelli is a 'firework'/firecracker of a player, which he is, his 2 goals v Sunderland prove that, but for me I think the dream is almost over for Mario and he seems to be burning bridges intentionally. As I said to Da Gman @dagman84 & Gezzie Fizzle  @apparentlyrich and our other fans on the Live Pitch Talk show on April 9th 2012, Balotelli isn't playing in the shop window, because I personally would be like how Gary Glitter should be when he's near a playground...stay away from the kids & stay away from Mario in this case. Alan Hansen said after the Sunderland match he's a magnet for the media & a divisive character, which he is and to me he's definitely a character. Now, in football we need characters but if i had a team that needed to focus when going head to head with a team like Manchester United for the title the one kind of person I wouldn't want in my side is a Mario Balotelli. As a manager it must be hard to control him & as a teammate he must be more frustrating than not being able to please your wife because you can't 'rise to the occasion'. Imagine having a teammate as unpredictable and reckless as Mario Balotelli, you'd always be on edge thinking 'is he going to let us down, is he going to do something dumb?' and more often than not the answer to both of those questions is a resounding YES! Now, with a dark cloud like that hanging over you it does distract you and with Man City needing wins and their bigger players not performing well you'd need someone like Mario to step up, instead of stepping into more controversy but Mario does as Mario will and for me he's burning bridges daily not just at Man City, but in the Premier League, as it almost seems Mario can't help himself with doing silly things off the pitch as well as on it, sharing a hooker with Wayne Rooney, going to a strip club/titty bar the night before a game (which i still find hilarious) as well as his other misdemeanors just in 2012! Mancini in my view hasn't helped at times because like a flirty woman who doesn't really fancy you he's been sending out mixed signals, one minute Mancini is saying things like 'I don't trust him' & 'i wanted to take him off after 5 minutes' after him scoring twice and repeatedly starting him in games like he believes in him. But I digress, and the only 'Super' Mario these days is the Bayern Munich striker Mario Gomez as moron Mario edges closer to his self created exit door at the Etihad stadium. Balotelli is a character and a hilarious figure who does at times get a hard time, but to me most of it is self-inflicted and on this April 9th when I'm writing this blog, I think Mario's career at Manchester City is done, his blue bubble has burst & he's been the architecht of his own demise, which leads me to ask the question, when the sheikh's shake down City, will Mancini be following Moron Mario to the unemployment line? Moron Mario, we’ll miss your antics, but it seems like even after your apology for the red card against Arsenal, for City that enough is enough and it’s time for a change & with that obligatory wrestling reference i’d like to send a R.I.P to former WWF/WWE Tag Team, European & Intercontinental champion Owen Hart and a thank you to Mario Balotelli for contributing so much to the Pitch Talk show in terms of entertainment.
I’m Straight Shootin' LJA & that’s my opinion

Follow me on Twitter @sslja

I am One 3rd of Monday night Football Talk Show Pitch Talk who you can follow on twitter @pitchtalk
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Tuesday 3 April 2012

Are the 'Kenny Out' brigade morons?


The short version would lean towards not entirely, but my opinion is yes they are, but lets go through the reasons for & against.
Now, the 1st reason for, is Carroll, Henderson & Downing. These guys did cost a staggering £75m or thereabouts combined and in terms of end result there hasn't been much, yes Downing was MOTM in the Carling Cup Final against Championship Cardiff City, but let's move on before I digress too much. All 3 of these players some would say are NOT Liverpool players and will do nothing but castigate their every move on the pitch during every second of a game and yes I do admit they all need to do better, but, Henderson generally plays out of position in a packed midfield, which some have asked, why sign him for £20m in the first place, but I’ll come back to that. Carroll, in the same way as Henderson isn't really being utilized in the best way, sometimes as an impact sub, & we're not getting enough crosses into him to use his aerial prowess to its fullest, but sometimes the phrase 'when in Rome applies and as Vince McMahon said on WWF Raw in 1998 to Stone Cold Steve Austin 'adaptation is key in life' (Obligatory wrestling reference no.1) and that segues nicely into Downing, who on a general basis needs to take a page out of WWE superstar The Rock's play book and start beating 'jabroni's' on the wing (another obligatory wrestling reference) to supply those crosses not just for Carroll, but Suarez to with greater regularity. The money we paid for each of these guys, was inflated to say the least, and I've often said that especially with Carroll we got raped on price, but considering all 3 are English that was always going to be the case due to Englishmen being technically inferior to most of their foreign counterparts, but grossly superior (partly due to the 6 + 5 rule) when it comes to commanding transfer fees & wages. Forgetting transfer fees for a minute these 3 men haven't delivered, but whereas players always need a season (in my opinion) to settle in, look at Drogba for Chelsea for instance or Ronaldo at Man United, most people expected brilliance from these 3 men straight away, and I've said on numerous occasions that this would be a building season after last years salvage job where a cup would be nice as a bonus but 4th place should be the focus.
Now, those 3 players the price wasn't their fault but at least with Carroll & Hendo you can say they are young, 23 & 21 respectively (or thereabouts) so they've got time to mature & develop and only a really special breed of player such as a Lionel Messi can be a world class player at 24, so to all the haters, i say give Carroll & Henderson time, and by time i don't mean a year or 1 season, i mean potentially 3-4 years. Anyway, coming back to the Kenny out brigade, for some reason even though Kenny has only been in charge just over a year and bear in mind he's won a trophy, it may not be the trophy we all want, but everyone starts from humble beginnings. As someone mentioned on our Carling Cup Final video when we were on Wembley way (which can be viewed here - http://youtu.be/VcN9-DQIblU ) Gerard Houllier started his trophy laden run in 2001 with the then Worthington Cup Final win, also on penalties, against Division one side at the time Birmingham City. This season we've still got the FA Cup to play for so we could still end up with a cup double, which wouldn't be too bad, winning both the cups we could, but if we do that, next season has to see a consistent league push & more players stepping up to the plate.
2nd reason, In recent games against Wigan Athletic (the 2-1 defeat at Anfield) & especially against QPR (the defeat at Loftus road) we've stagnated and defended horribly at times (Da Gman @dagman84 , Gezzie Fizzle @apparentlyrich & many of our Pitch Talk listeners will regularly hear me castigating defenders on shows as i am an Amateur league defender myself for IBIS FC www.ibisfc.co.uk for more info on them), with the latter we dominated a game for 75 minutes but came out losers (which was embarrassing to say the least considering we were 2-0 up!!! And the Wigan defeat rubbed it in even more!!!), and it is after the final score the points get dished out to the winners, not at 75 minutes and as I've said on many a pitch talk match update 'possession is nothing without penetration', so instead of fiddling with the bra, we need to be moving those panties to the side and aiming for penetration without mercy (and yes I am ready for the #ssljaisawrongun hash tag to be trending on twitter courtesy of my Pitch Talk co-hosts Da Gman @dagman84 on twitter & Gezzie Fizzle @apparentlyrich on twitter) but the fact remains that penetration is the key to success just like in a titty bar where money is the key to success.
Anyway, to me the Kenny out brigade needs to take a chill pill, shut the f*ck up and stop getting fished in to the media hype as the media would love to get another manager sacked, like Simon Grayson at Leeds or Lee Clark at Huddersfield Town, of Andre Villas-Boas at Chelsea (which i still think was a moron move) or Mick McCarthy at Wolves, but remember boo boys, Rome wasn't built in a day and as much as football is a short term sport for some, especially greedy owners such as Roman Abramovic, remember, we are a club that built a dynasty, we are not short term thinkers like Chelsea who now have succeeded Real Madrid in terms of a revolving door of management where you pay millions of pounds to get a manager out of a contract and then they get told like AVB did that 'we have a 3 year plan for you' then a month later you get sacked after only being in charge for 8 months, we are a club that apart from Roy Hodgson (who had us in the relegation zone just over a year ago) generally gives managers at least 3 years to do what they need to do. Not everything falls into place straight away and yes Kenny isn't perfect, some say he's misguided trying to build a British looking core to the team, but i say, give a manager time to do what he needs to do as a long-term project takes a lot of the worlds greatest commodity, and remember this, mediocrity isn't excellence and time is what everyone wants more of, but everyone is so unwilling to give it in this 'microwave' age where yesterday is when everything is expected.
The Carling Cup was a start & could have been a springboard, but remember, the players need to pick up the slack first, because like with England's footballing underachievement, the manager & his tactics can only do so much, then it's the players that have do go out there and do the job.

Passion, pride, pass & move, it's not the Liverpool groove (cos I'm not singing), it's the Liverpool way, and instead of just ripping at our boyz, get behind them, not like you’re in a club and trying to grind on a lady kind of behind, but support them like a bra supports breasts, with positive reinforcement things can get better and with penetration and a couple of better players here and there (most notably on the wings for us) success isn't far away, let the parasitic media say what they will say & look long term, instead of short term like them & let the King do his ting!!!

I’m Straight Shootin' LJA & that’s my opinion


Follow me on Twitter @sslja



I am One 3rd of Monday night Football Talk Show Pitch Talk who you can follow on twitter @pitchtalk
Join us Live Every Monday Night from 8pm-10pm (UK Time) @ http://www.ustream.tv/channel/pitch-talk
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